


home is just a room full of my safest sounds

by thesupplanter



Series: I'm finding out what makes me wanna live [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Character, Character Study, Gen, Grey Spectrum, No Slash, Other, Tony Feels, ace!tony stark, deaf!clint barton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 19:31:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13933794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesupplanter/pseuds/thesupplanter
Summary: It takes a little while for things to settle down.Once he gets permission from Bruce to seek out comfort, Tony falls into his usual methodology of a new experience; that is to say, he wants to figure out where the boundaries are, and how far he can push them.The problem is if he pushes the boundaries too far this time, he's going to hurt Bruce.Aside from the practical matter of the Other Guy making an appearance, there's the fact that hurting Bruce is off the table, as far as Tony's concerned. Not just because Bruce is probably the best science partner in crime Tony's had in a long time, if ever, but because Bruce has- not fixed Tony, he wasn't broken after all, but given him a way to fix the cracks that he's only just started to recognize. And he knows, or he thinks, Bruce has risked something in doing so, and Tony can't betray that.It's good- different, but good. He doesn't want to lose this.And the uncertainty is what keeps him from just lounging on Bruce like he's furniture, no matter how appealing that is.





	home is just a room full of my safest sounds

**Author's Note:**

> This is an unexpected continuance of a series which focuses on the revelation of asexuality as a personality facet, and how being asexual (or on the greyspectrum*) doesn't negate the fact that a lot of people do need intimacy. We're exploring how the Avengers respond to that need for intimacy without a focus on romance, which may be entirely excluded from this narrative. Not all of the Avengers are intended to be asexual, nor should it be inferred that any particular member is or is not romantically inclined, but that's not the focus for this particular series.
> 
> *Greyspectrum being a term meant to be inclusive of asexuality, grey-asexuality, and demisexuality, as well as related identities.

It takes a little while for things to settle down.

Once he gets permission from Bruce to seek out comfort, Tony falls into his usual methodology of a new experience; that is to say, he wants to figure out where the boundaries are, and how far he can push them.

The problem is if he pushes the boundaries too far this time, he's going to hurt Bruce.

Aside from the practical matter of the Other Guy making an appearance, there's the fact that hurting Bruce is off the table, as far as Tony's concerned. Not just because Bruce is probably the best science partner in crime Tony's had in a long time, if ever, but because Bruce has- not fixed Tony, he wasn't broken after all, but given him a way to fix the cracks that he's only just started to recognize. And he knows, or he thinks, Bruce has risked something in doing so, and Tony can't betray that.

It's good- different, but good. He doesn't want to lose this.

And the uncertainty is what keeps him from just lounging on Bruce like he's furniture, no matter how appealing that is.

"Tony?"

His mind sputters a bit out of his internal monologue at the sound of Clint's voice, which seems out of place down in the lab. It's not off limits for the moment, it's not as though the archer isn't allowed, but it's unusual.

With the smallest delay, he gestures at Clint, "Hawkeye, you- have a project for me."

"Yeah, I'm having some issues-"

Turning away, Tony starts clearing off his space, though since they're almost completely digital projections so it's more for something to do with his hands than anything else. "Oh, good, you're finally coming to me instead of Shield for your gear. Listen, I've got an idea for a better bow- I know they've got you stuck with a compound model right now but you always practice with that recurve-"

"Tony I can't- you gotta look at me when you talk." There's a note of sheepishness in his voice as he admits this, and when Tony turns back to see why, he sees Clint's head held at a tilt towards him, confusion furrowing his brow. "It's um- there was a flash-bang on the last op, it's got my ears messed up. It should be fine, it's just- quiet, in the meantime."

Something shakes loose in Tony's mind, a piece of Clint's dossier from when he was snooping in Shield's personnell folders. Hearing loss when he was a kid, related to a concussion or something. It was supposed to have cleared up on its own but- well.

"Jarvis, can you-?" He doesn't need to ask as a speech-to-text application lights up over the lab table, transcribing his words so Clint doesn't have to guess at Tony's intent. "Perfect. What do you need, just- some kind of amplifier for the meantime?"

Clint's eyes trace the words as they appear, and he nods slowly. "Yeah, I- it's just swelling, most likely, it makes everything really muffled. With what I can hear and my lip-reading I do alright most of the time, but covert ops are hard to run when you can't hear."

"Should you be running ops if you-"

Oh. Right, that's why Clint's here, instead of talking to Shield. If they know his hearing is messed up, they'll pull him from the field. With Coulson around it'd be different, he probably would have come to Tony too, but since- well. That's why Clint's here.

Clint doesn't address Tony's question, he just waits; he's got a nine-mile stare that reminds Tony a little too much of Rhodey's military bearing, the face he wears when a situation's gone a little more FUBAR than usual. He's waiting to be told there's nothing to be done, or to be told he's gonna have to make the best of his situation.

Tony walks back to the table, away from that- defeat. "Make some coffee?"

He hears what's probably affirmation from Clint, but from there Tony immediately starts to zone out of the world and into his interface. There's a few open-source schematics for hearing aids, infographics that show how they work and information for what kind of hearing loss can be worked with. There's more that aren't as open-source, but they aren't nearly as heavily guarded as they'd need to be to keep Tony out.

Clint sets a mug down next to his elbow what seems like seconds later- Bruce has called Tony a fae creature more than once for how time changes around him in the lab.

"Music? You pick the station, turn it as loud as you need to."

He's not sure why he assumes Clint's gonna stay, but it makes sense to him when he considers it; Tony's going to have questions at some point about what's worked in the past, or he'll need to know how subtle the pieces need to be, something that'll be easier to figure out with Clint here. And since Bruce is doing something with Steve for the afternoon- probably afternoon but who's to say- it'll be nice to have the company.

Clint asks Jarvis for what he calls southern gothic; it's something a little more sinister than bluegrass, with heavy drums and hoarse voices. Not what Tony's used to or expecting, but it's a good sound, he doesn't mind.

He's not expecting Clint to sit on the ground next to Tony's chair, either, his back pressed against Tony's leg. That Clint has an affinity for leaning on people isn't a big secret, he and Natasha have a habit of perching near each other, but Tony's surprised that Clint decided they're also going to be leaning friends.

It's good- different, but good. He doesn't mind.

\---

By the end of the day- probably day but who's to say- Tony's modified a pair of earbuds to amplify ambient sounds for Clint. Now that he's got the scale and chips figured out, it's a matter of building a casing that actually works for their purpose, which will take another day or so he thinks; in the meantime, Clint's got something to tide him over.

They walk out of the lab together, a single earbud tucked into his left side, subtle enough that no one should fuss about it. Tony doesn't expect they would anyway, but he's not gonna tell Clint he can't be nervous.

On the common floor, movie night is about to begin. Thor has picked out The Sword in the Stone for the starting film of the night, pulled up on a screen that's frankly too big for the definition found in cell-animated films. Bruce is already near the corner of the couch, leaving a space for Tony. The first time he'd played this maneuver Tony had missed it, and Bruce needed to call him over to sit, but now he reads the stage immediately.

He thinks he manages to take his spot next to Bruce without looking too nervous about it, reaching an arm over Bruce shoulder with only a minimal amount of stutter in his movement. The deception is aided when Bruce leans into him and, after a moment of consideration, manhandles Tony's leg to drape it over his own knee to use as an arm rest.

There's mischief in Bruce's eye as he glances at Tony with a small grin, though he doesn't pause for a moment in his explanation to Steve about the evolution of Arthurian mythology. Tony marvels again at how easily Bruce reads him, that instinct that knows how to soothe.

From the corner of his eye, Tony sees Clint make some kind of a gesture to Natasha, already perched across the room. She does something interesting with her eyebrows- Tony is ever envious of this language the two of them share- but then tosses him one of the pillows on the loveseat that they usually claim together.

Without any preamble, he drops it on the floor and settles, his back tucked between Tony and Bruce, his spine parallel to Tony's shin. Tony's breath stills for a minute, his mind skipping like a rock across a pool. This is good- different, but good, he knows Clint doesn't let his guard down unless he feels safe. But this is different from in the lab, before; Clint is pressed against him but not leaning, as if waiting for one of those invisible signals that he and Natasha use to know that this is okay.

He decides his first attempt is to just press knee to Clint's shoulder, as if to make him aware that more pressure is possible. It's a risk, he thinks, it could be read as him pushing Clint away. Still, he figures they spent a large part of the day- because yes, it was day- with Clint leaning so if he was going to push away, probably would have by now. All he can do is try and hope that Clint puts the pieces together.

For a moment, Clint seems to pull away, shifting a little on the floor- but then he settles again, slouching a bit more so he can rest his head on Tony's knee as the opening credits start to cycle on the screen. Tony knows Jarvis is going to have subtitles on the screen, something he's found helps himself as much as anyone else, so he resists the urge to check with Clint on how the earbud is helping him hear.

He focuses on the way Clint's ribs press against his leg as he breathes, the soft thudding of Bruce's heart echoing against his side.

It's good. 

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are again.
> 
> And again, I want to say thank you for those readers who stuck with this through the years of inactivity, in hopes that maybe I would continue it. I would also like to say thanks to new readers- hi!- who are stopping in for the first time. I can't promise a regular posting schedule like I would like to, but I'm aiming to post updates once a month or so.
> 
> Some of you return readers (or if new readers peek the rest of the series as well) will notice a shift in style and flow; I hope this isn't too off-putting, but I've found this voice for Tony feels a little more authentic, based on how I've developed Tony in my mind, and I think this flow works for how his brain processes input and creates output, if that makes sense.
> 
> It goes without saying that I love feedback of any length and content. We'll look to have the second chapter of this up here before the end of March. 
> 
> P.S. You can pry Deaf Hawkeye from my cold dead hands. MCU producers are cowards.


End file.
